Definitely a Fruit Punch manifesting in that thing.

Sometimes you can find scimitars in there. You can chop a camel right in its hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of those things.

As someone who can barely approach the edge of a 3-story parking structure, I would come unraveled on one of those balconies.

HEROSHIMA! CHERNOBYL! WINDOWS 95! WE DO IT ONCE, WE DO IT AGAIN!

I miss LAN parties. I miss the atmosphere in those sweltering bedrooms/livingrooms in the quiet hours of the morning. I’ll never forget that LAN party vibe. Big one for my cousins and I was the Desert Combat mod for Battlefield 1942. Also Starcraft, Diablo 2, and later on it shifted to WoW.

I actually can’t pee with other people in the room, so public washrooms are a nightmare. But I learned that I can pee real easy in them while I’m sitting down to take a shit. So anytime I’m in one with other people, I just chill in the stall and pretend to take a shit. Might even fiddle with toilet paper after a while and flush just to keep the charade going.

Well, through that I learned that sitting to piss feels waayyyy fucking better. Especially in the middle of the night after crawling out of bed. I’m married, have a kid, and no longer care if people know I sometimes sit to pee.

Anyone else do an image search just to get a good look at that menu again?

DEADLY ANOMALIES, DANGEROUS MUTANTS, ANARCHISTS AND BANDITS. NONE OF THEM WILL STOP DUTY ON ITS TRIUMPHANT MARCH TOWARD SAVING THE PLANET.

The entire app is a slow and clunky mess on our Roku TV. I’ve never seen a more poorly optimized and irritating service. Every time we’re subjected to it I’m dumbfounded that Disney would even greenlight such a thing.

Waldorf, as per court order, was not allowed to take photographs with children and was omitted from the shot.

“Get your butthole out of my face!” has become a regular utterance around bedtime.

Perhaps be will be laid to rest in Hitler’s favorite unmarked grave.

I’d pound that thiccq-ass Inuit chick any day of the week.

Honestly, I always need a Snickers. God damn.

They’re not great, but they’re available.

The self checkout is a perfectly viable option, so long as Walmart can find the strength inside themselves to open 3-6 manned tills on a Sunday for folks with large carts or children. Nothing is more demoralizing than getting up to the checkouts after a huge shop and finding there isn’t a single till open whatsoever. Throw in a four-year-old who wants to help scan every item and you’re ready to burn the store down by the time you leave.

Me desire cave.

I have this one here. It’s huge and leatherbound. Unfortunately it’s missing several of his less popular ones. The Hound is one I’d like to read, but it isn’t included in this volume.

I haven’t reached that one yet, but I’m close. I really enjoyed A Colour Out of Space, The Dunwich Horror, Rats in the Walls, The Temple, Call of Cthulhu, and the very beginning of The Festival, when he describes wandering along the seaside road toward the distant twinkling lights of a wintery village. The opening pages of that book are beautiful.