I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

  • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
    31·
    1 year ago

    Well, the older you get the more experiences you have. Not everything is going to feel new when you’ve been through it a few decades.

    I’d say it’s normal.

    • remotelove@lemmy.world
      28·
      1 year ago

      That is why I fell in love with shrooms, TBH. Psilocybin has resurrected a curiosity in me that I haven’t felt in years. I just seemed that at 40 years, there aren’t many situations that I haven’t seen or experienced in daily life. As a side benefit, I have learned how to grow mushrooms.

      Edit: haven’t

      • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
        8·
        1 year ago

        I just seemed that at +40 years, there aren’t many situations that I have seen or experienced in daily life.

        Very true, I feel that. It’s incredibly easy to not even realize that, too.

        My only fear is I’ve got another 40 years to go lol

        • remotelove@lemmy.world
          5·
          1 year ago

          The “midlife crisis” is real. For me, it’s looking for new things to do, cutting out bad habits (drinking) and am trying not to think about how life is actually all downhill from here. I am not going to buy a sports car or anything, but some healthy experimentation with psychedelics does seem to scratch that itch.

          I think I rationalized my fear by understanding just how much shit I have seen and I still have another 30 to 40 years left, which is a good thing.