Every account you ever had, every post/comment you ever posted, now has your real name, a photo of you, and your address, all just magically show up on the webpage right next to each of your posts/comments (also, no “hacking” could hide the info). All deleted posts/comments are magically restored and nothing you do (short of permanently shutting down the website and physical destruction of the servers) can delete them. (Any edits would still show every change you made.) How fucked are you?
And don’t think about changing your name, or moving, all this info updates in real time. (for “magic” reason)
(You also cannot delete any future posts.)
I’m sure I’d be screwed. Just by the nature of the internet, someone in the various posts would find something that would enrage them enough to hunt me down and throw a cocktail at my house. Even if only one person in a million is insane and bent on revenge, overall I have enough posts that they’d come in contact with it. I’d for sure lose my job, since we have seen it happen on social media sites with folks’ real names attached.
Luckily, most of the comments I’ve made have been on sites that have permanently shut down, so I would escape the worst of my years becoming public knowledge.
Now, if it wasn’t just me, I’m sure I’d be lost in the relatively blase nature of my comments.