Would really hit the spot right about now.
Granted. They existed decades ago. They disappear from the timeline and appear in front of you. The butterfly effect occurs. Minor differences ripple out into tsunamis of change. You head into your Haus to get a Flaschenöffner, aber du can’t seem to find one. Wo ist es, du fragst. Du kannst sich nicht erinnern. Vielleicht hat der Nachbar einen.
Granted. You have two great beers. To ensure that they are the best Belgian beers ever made, Belgian beers steeply decline in quality. In a few months time, they are basically all just like Bud Light with Lime.
Granted. You have the two best Belgian beers ever made. No monkeys paw caveat: they are the most delicious beers you have ever had.
Also, every beer you ever taste hereafter, for the rest of your life, will taste like watery Miller Lite in comparison: disgusting.
I love this because it backfires by giving me exactly what I wanted without any necessary modifications.
I can’t take credit for it.
It’s the plot device from a Stanisław Lem story - one of the Pirx or Tichy stories, I don’t recall - in which a character is told a story by a stranger in a bar about his awful opera-singer ex-wife; about getting a wish (from a djinni or something); and how he wishes for one night of a perfect performance for her. The listener is puzzled about why he’d use a wish on this until the story teller explains that thereafter, not only can she no longer perform as she’s deeply unsatisfied with her subsequent singing, but everyone in the audience - including the jilted husband, who was in the audience - can no longer enjoy opera since it all now sounds horrible to them in comparison.
Great short story. I wish I could remember the name, but credit for the idea should be attributed to Lem.
Granted. You now possess them both. Sadly, they have spoiled and are undrinkable.
😔
Granted. They are room temperature and magic prevents their temperature from being cooled in any way.
</Good Place reference>
Granted.
You didn’t ask for an opener so cannot drink them.
