Im also killing myself on the 25th lol. During my partner’s exam I’m going to my favorite bench, drinking a bunch of benzos and vodka, and then shooting myself. Ive had it planned for a while. Life isn’t worth living anymore. I have too many mental health issues and trauma and have been fighting too long and can’t imagine fighting for another 50 or 60 years.

I have thought about killing myself every day of my life since middle school and it is so freeing to have a solid plan and todo list of what I actually need to finish before I get to kill myself. I’ve tried before but I realize now I didn’t actually want it as much then. I finally feel calm. I’m finally ok with just being a statistic.

Women are you going out of the office and I can come by the office to see you

Work or government issued.

I hate my gender, hate my body. Wish I could flip a switch and be anything else but I’m too afraid of the stigma to transition.

But I recognize that society, the government, doctors, my family, see me as a boy. So I use he/him.

In my mind its they/he. Some sort of demiboy or non binary, idk. I don’t want gender. I feel trapped.

I have an oracle free tier vps that I run reverse proxy on and have certs for subdomains for a domain I got on cloudflare. Cloudflare dns points to the vps, apache server proxy on port 80/443. On the vps I also have tailscale and another tailscale on a server at home advertising routes.

So I have music.mydomain for subsonic and plex.mydomain and files.mydomain for nextcloud, etc.

Its normal https web traffic so weird ports dont need to be accessed or remembered.