Unihertz tank mini might be what you like, I have the tank 2 and it has all the features… Including a projector, headphone jack, camping lights, ir blaster, battery that lasts 3 days with heavy use and red and blue emergency lights.

Me and my 1060 ain’t going anywhere

Wristwatch revival is a go to for me !

I’m no scientist and I’ve never seen one in real life, but I can promise you penguins do not have trunks iirc