Aunt: I’m going to Walmart, do you need anything?
Me: no thanks, I’m going there later to do some shopping myself
Aunt: But we could combine trips! It’s wasteful to both drive there on the same day! The responsible thing to do—
Me: ok, I give up. Please get me cat litter and cat snacks.
Aunt: Ok!!! :)) Which ones? And what isle? What color is the package—
Me: exasperated Are you serious? I caved and gave you what you wanted. Now you’re asking for more information? I told you I wanted to do my own shopping, and you fought me on it. I’m making a peace offering by giving you two items to buy for me, and you’re saying I need to go find the names and package colors and isle numbers? Please just be satisfied with what I gave you.
The thing that she wants is to feel good about buying me something. But I don’t want that. That’s the disagreement.
I imagine most people would see me as the asshole here: she can’t buy the right item if I don’t tell her what it is. But I clearly don’t care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her. I’m giving her something she wanted, something I wanted for myself, and she’s demanding more.
I didn’t follow up because I was already pushed past my limit. My aunt and I disagreed because we both wanted a thing, and only one of us could have it. I caved and gave it to her, and she asked for more.
I got upset with a logical follow-up clarification question for the reason in my original post (lol): “I clearly don’t care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her.”
Then you should be saying that to your aunt, instead of losing your patience. People aren’t MIND readers. It is as easy as “I will use any brands you buy.”
If you get this irate over normal life (consistantly), then you should talk to a professional.
Edit: asks if I’m the asshole? Gets irate when people say yes. :). If the issue is your aunt being overbearing check out the DEARMAN principle. It will help you with relations.
It’s been a month and you still haven’t answered my question: “I should? What else should I be doing in this relationship?”.
Your account has been active since then so it’s safe to assume you’ve chosen not to answer. Your refusal to answer my question means your position cannot withstand scrutiny. I’m sorry but your credibility is destroyed and there’s nothing valuable here to salvage so I’m going to have to ban you from my instance.
Your last comment to me a month ago was that you blocked me on your instance.
LOL now you want a reply?
As you can see by all your downvotes, in every thread here, your opinion does not match the general population ~ to whom you posed your original question. A rational person would deduce that they themselves may be in the wrong if their opinion is not so widely shared.
As the other responder clearly stated you are only looking for validation when your feelings were troubling you, you don’t actually want advice on how to interact better. So time to move on from this topic.
I should? What else should I be doing in this relationship? Lol. You keep saying I should get help, but I think you’re got a weird idea about what help is. Seems like your idea of “help” is minimizing other people’s pain and ignoring context when it’s convenient. I’ll pass, thanks. I’m going to ban you from my instance so you won’t be able to respond like this any further, it’s hurtful and I deserve better.
I can’t interpret your comments in this thread any other way than that you are seeking not help, but validation for your unwillingness to grow.
The idea of help you’re complaining about is quite consistent with good help according to the local lemmyites it seems, and I have to agree. Are you quite sure you’re not minimizing others pain and ignoring context when it’s convenient for you? Just because your pain is real does not mean you are free of responsibility.
This is exactly the kind of thing professional help is ideal for. Let an expert guide you in discovering ways you might change your views and behavior such that your needs are better met. Shaking your fist at the world isn’t going to make you one iota happier, no matter how well justified your anger might be.
Somebody asked you if you wanted help and you blew up on them. If that isn’t a sign of change needed idk what is. Regardless of what is happening, it’s no way to treat people and you will push the people you love the most with your attitude. Take it from someone who immediately recognized the situation, you’ll need to mitigate something or you will be unhappy. Best of luck, you probably won’t even read this lol.