After my long relationship (7+), i started dating again. Unfortunately i discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second. I actively stopped myself from flirting/dating anymore, it’s just a complete waste of time 🤷♂️im sorry to say many many many girls are VERY VERY superficial people.
Imo that’s just people in general, most have a lot of issues they want to talk through and don’t have people to talk with. After seeing about 9000 online profiles with “pamper me” or “over 6 ft or don’t message” I get the feeling though :>
Try being a single dad on the dating scene. It’s like a yellow star on my shoulder everywhere my profile goes. For fucks sake, even had single mom’s tell me they don’t date single dads. Legit had a woman tell me I’m cute, but having a kid is a dealbreaker due to her not wanting “baggage.” Says the person resorting to online dating.
Thankfully, I found someone and been out of the game for the past 5ish years or so. I can only imagine how much more superficial it all is now.
Brutal, yeah I usually skip over people who have those weird qualifiers just out of principle, like yeah maybe this is a negative to you but you’re gonna write off a whole person for that? There are so many amazing people that they’ll never meet just because of some random “dealbreaker.”
"Of course I like children omg, why would you say that… I even donate to kids in Africa! It’s just I don’t like baggages in MY relationship, OMG is that too much to ask? You are not even that cute. " 🫂
It is a bit everyone yes, I just never had to convince a lad to have a drink with me. Maybe it comes out differently for men, don’t know and don’t care.
Well anytime you see someone constantly complains that women won’t have meaningful or “deep” conversations, that women are superficial, calls women girls they are typically just sexist incels and have zero meaningful conversations beyond complaining…. O_o
Thankfully you are aware enough to write “typically” and know this commenter is an individual person with their own experiences and manner of speaking, so we shouldn’t make assumptions!
“My experience as a man dating has been many many girls are superficial” is in fact bashing many many girls… the ones who are superficial? If a woman said “many many men are superficial” I would say “correct. Sorry you had to deal with people like that.” Not “stop bashing men” when the men they’re talking about are the same people I would complain about!!!
“I discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second.”
In no way does the first part of the post make it sound like the commenter is qualifying the statement to only the subset of people they have dated.
I’m happily married, and I know people I would enjoy spending time with if I wasn’t. The world doesn’t seem bereft of thoughtful, intelligent, generous people to me. To me, it sounds like it’s a problem with the commenter.
Fair, I wish it wasn’t like this. It’s nobody fault really but how is it possible that the majority of my friends (man and women) have mental issues? Is it normal to be bombarded 24/7 with unrealistic standards and norms?
I bet many men are hyperfocusing on money in life because at the end of the day we see and being taught that money buys anything, women included. Do you blame them? Yes yes, it’s fucked up but do you really want to die alone? Because ugly, depressed and broke won’t cut it but ugly, depressed and rich will.
I’m just tired, people live in dreamland and I’m nobody’s daddy.
While I agree with you that social media is very harmful to everyone but especially young people, I think we’ve also socialized an entire generation to pathologize mental distress instead of teaching them resiliency.
I think we’ve also socialized an entire generation to pathologize mental distress instead of teaching them resiliency.
You have my upvoted. This is 100 percent true! Especially here on Lemmy. I have seen people almost brag as they list their mental issues and meds they’re taking!
Glad you didn’t take my comment as an attack, as many users here are too quick to get upset.
Is it just men or do all of us have mental issues, too materialistic, no home, no good job, no future? I think life is hard and it’s hard take chances to connect.
If men don’t have a good father, who is their role model?
Nah, people need to get their shit together if the first stranger online treatens them.
Yes, life is hard + we have been cuddled too much + life is getting harder + the past social norms are not valid anymore + lack of key figures. This is normal for 2025, it would be weird the opposite. Look at st Korea dating dynamic, the world is going there.
I don’t want to point fingers but I’m also not going to take shits. You want to be treated like a princess? Good, jump into the lake and start fucking the frogs.
After my long relationship (7+), i started dating again. Unfortunately i discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second. I actively stopped myself from flirting/dating anymore, it’s just a complete waste of time 🤷♂️im sorry to say many many many girls are VERY VERY superficial people.
Imo that’s just people in general, most have a lot of issues they want to talk through and don’t have people to talk with. After seeing about 9000 online profiles with “pamper me” or “over 6 ft or don’t message” I get the feeling though :>
Try being a single dad on the dating scene. It’s like a yellow star on my shoulder everywhere my profile goes. For fucks sake, even had single mom’s tell me they don’t date single dads. Legit had a woman tell me I’m cute, but having a kid is a dealbreaker due to her not wanting “baggage.” Says the person resorting to online dating.
Thankfully, I found someone and been out of the game for the past 5ish years or so. I can only imagine how much more superficial it all is now.
Brutal, yeah I usually skip over people who have those weird qualifiers just out of principle, like yeah maybe this is a negative to you but you’re gonna write off a whole person for that? There are so many amazing people that they’ll never meet just because of some random “dealbreaker.”
"Of course I like children omg, why would you say that… I even donate to kids in Africa! It’s just I don’t like baggages in MY relationship, OMG is that too much to ask? You are not even that cute. " 🫂
It is a bit everyone yes, I just never had to convince a lad to have a drink with me. Maybe it comes out differently for men, don’t know and don’t care.
Yeah I think it’s rather women have the same problem dating men, but are much less superficial with other girls
Well anytime you see someone constantly complains that women won’t have meaningful or “deep” conversations, that women are superficial, calls women girls they are typically just sexist incels and have zero meaningful conversations beyond complaining…. O_o
Thankfully you are aware enough to write “typically” and know this commenter is an individual person with their own experiences and manner of speaking, so we shouldn’t make assumptions!
I don’t think they need to be shown any particular courtesy since they closed by bashing ‘many many many girls’ as superficial.
“My experience as a man dating has been many many girls are superficial” is in fact bashing many many girls… the ones who are superficial? If a woman said “many many men are superficial” I would say “correct. Sorry you had to deal with people like that.” Not “stop bashing men” when the men they’re talking about are the same people I would complain about!!!
To quote (emphasis mine):
“I discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second.”
In no way does the first part of the post make it sound like the commenter is qualifying the statement to only the subset of people they have dated.
I’m happily married, and I know people I would enjoy spending time with if I wasn’t. The world doesn’t seem bereft of thoughtful, intelligent, generous people to me. To me, it sounds like it’s a problem with the commenter.
True
Fair, I wish it wasn’t like this. It’s nobody fault really but how is it possible that the majority of my friends (man and women) have mental issues? Is it normal to be bombarded 24/7 with unrealistic standards and norms?
I bet many men are hyperfocusing on money in life because at the end of the day we see and being taught that money buys anything, women included. Do you blame them? Yes yes, it’s fucked up but do you really want to die alone? Because ugly, depressed and broke won’t cut it but ugly, depressed and rich will.
I’m just tired, people live in dreamland and I’m nobody’s daddy.
I’m expecting downvotes for this.
While I agree with you that social media is very harmful to everyone but especially young people, I think we’ve also socialized an entire generation to pathologize mental distress instead of teaching them resiliency.
You have my upvoted. This is 100 percent true! Especially here on Lemmy. I have seen people almost brag as they list their mental issues and meds they’re taking!
Glad you didn’t take my comment as an attack, as many users here are too quick to get upset.
Is it just men or do all of us have mental issues, too materialistic, no home, no good job, no future? I think life is hard and it’s hard take chances to connect.
If men don’t have a good father, who is their role model?
Nah, people need to get their shit together if the first stranger online treatens them.
Yes, life is hard + we have been cuddled too much + life is getting harder + the past social norms are not valid anymore + lack of key figures. This is normal for 2025, it would be weird the opposite. Look at st Korea dating dynamic, the world is going there.
I don’t want to point fingers but I’m also not going to take shits. You want to be treated like a princess? Good, jump into the lake and start fucking the frogs.
Yep!