Warning: The content of this post might be troubling, especially to those with a sensitivity to nightmares or suicide.
I have nightmares that turn into meta-nightmares. I will be in a dream and something threatening is trying to get me. I notice that what is happening is unrealistic or nonsensical, so I tell myself I’m in a nightmare and try to wake myself up. I try yelling as loud as possible, shaking, slapping myself awake, and just telling myself over and over to wake up. I even dream that in my bed in my bedroom fighting through sleep paralysis while trying waking up, while the threat is coming to my bedroom. It’s terrifying. Many times, I wake up happy I was able to finally escape the nightmare, only to realize I’m actually still asleep and the nightmare resumes. It’s very exhausting and disappointing because I will go through many cycles per night (up to 10 times) of thinking I wake up only to be in the nightmare again. It’s like I learn to not be hopeful that it’s over.
On a few occasions where the threat was so severe that I rather die, I have killed myself in the dream, and that works but it is terrifying and I wake up as if it were really happening. I wake up breathing heavily, sweating, super confused, and scared to go back to sleep again. It’s like I’m checking if everything is real and having to come to terms that I just committed suicide in my dreams. This only happens when I know I am going to die in the nightmare and rather end it on my own terms. So while it works, it’s not really an option in nightmares where the threat isn’t certain death since they seem so real in the moment. I also don’t want to build a mental habit of committing suicide every time I’m scared for obvious reasons.
In general, the nightmares seem to come in episodes of a few months. They then go away seemingly out of nowhere, and I’m back to normal dreams. I’m currently in the beginning of a new episode, so I’m trying to prepare for the next few months. I don’t have the option to speak with a therapist. I’m looking for remedy that I can employ myself. It can be anything, but I really enjoy learning, so if there is a book or skill recommendation, I would highly appreciate it!
Any tips on how to wake up during nightmares or any other remedies?
So id caution against resorting to extreme measures, especially if you are unsure of what is reality. That can have very permanent consequences.
It sounds like you’re close to being aware its a dream when its happening. You can start to recognize the signs and when that happens you should be able to assert control over your dream. Check out lucid dreaming, spinning around in the dream is a popular technique.
When I was young until about 16 I had night terrors. ID walk around my house seeing demons trying to get in. Would wake my parents up by slamming doors and putting sticks in the windows to stop them from opening. Spooky shit would crawl down the walls, dead ghost girls would climb into my bed. Grim reaper would stand in the middle of the room imperceptibly moving to stare at me with hollow sockets. They were terrifying ordeals and I feel you. My dreams went away when I started smoking pot honestly. Once I was done with that the horror movie dreams came back but not the night terrors. I write the real fucked up ones down as outlines to short stories. Maybe one day I will write a book thats a collection of them. Helps me cope.
Yep! It’s that scary doom feeling that no matter what you do, you can’t avoid the fear. It’s exhausting.
Exactly! I think this is why I only employ them when the outcome is the same, so I choose a favorable method in which I am in control…ooh, maybe there’s something related to control that I need to think about. Thank you!
This sounds like sleep apnia. When you dont get enough oxygen you can get a deep feeling of doom or dread.
I had a friend stay the night. They kept pushing me to lay on my side when I would snore. I didn’t have any vivid intense nightmares that I remember, and I awoke feeling much better than usual. I think it could be a combination of a lot of things, but that seemed to help. I tend to be near people I trust when I’m scared. It’s how I feel safer. I have a thing where I overlook a lot of factors, so having someone nearby that can cover those areas intuitively helps with safety. Having them around may have helped with the fear in the dreams. They also pushed me onto my side whenever I would snore, so maybe that prevented me from having as much difficulty breathing. I want to order one of those long maternity pillows that keeps women on their side to see if that helps. If it’s only sleep apnea, then that would be a nice remedy. But I’m certain there are some psychological and situational factors influencing this as well.
You’re welcome friend. Hope you find a method that works for you