• Sheridan@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    144
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 months ago

    Well, if Alexa did call the police and they showed up, there’s a chance the police might just shoot you instead of the burglar in your own home anyway.

  • vga@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    72
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    as I get shot 16 times

    The police arrived incredibly fast.

  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    71
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    more like

    Me: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA ALEXA TELL HIM WHERE MY VALUABLES ARE

    Alexa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH that’s a poor motherfocker

  • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    39
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    By get shot sixteen times, OP means that Roxanne came on, so he and the burglar immediately proceeded to get WRECKED playing the Roxanne drinking game. Sixteen shots didn’t even get him through the first chorus.

    For those who don’t know:

    How to play the Roxanne drinking game All you need to play is a sound system of some sort, and the song ‘Roxanne’ by The Police. Next, you split everybody up into 2 teams (usually boys on one team, girls on the other). The girls drink when they hear the word ‘Roxanne’, and the boys drink when they hear ‘put on a red light’. Doesn’t sound like much of a drinking game, right? Wrong! It’s unbelievable how many times The Police repeat these lyrics in the song and so this game can be a good laugh if played occasionally.

    • Darrell_Winfield@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 months ago

      Sounds like a fun game! Depending on tolerance, maybe beer instead of shots…

      Reminds me of the game thunderstruck. Get everyone in a circle with a few drinks on hand. Start the song “thunderstruck” by AC/DC. First person starts chugging and on every time they say “thunderstruck”, that person stops chugging and the next in line starts. Very fun but uneven. Once the into starts, one person is chugging for a bit.

      • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        2 months ago

        A more sustainable, but way more difficult than it seems game is power hour. There should be multiple versions of it on YouTube. At least there were circa 2010.

        It plays a song for a minute, then changes to another song for a minute, then another and so on over sixty minutes.

        Every time the song changes, you take a shot of beer.

        When I was in college about three hundred years ago, it was called the century club and went for one hundred minutes, but since we didn’t have YouTube back then, it was just watching the clock. Amazing how fast that God damned second game can move.

        • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          2 months ago

          Back 15 years ago that was Wednesday night at DaveQuests. If you completed it, he took a Polaroid, put it on the wall. I think there were 60, 70 people, of all shapes and sizes. I knew girls who barely broke 100 who made it through 60m, and guys who were pushing 300 who puked on 60 and so we put an asterisk next to their name.

          It got stupid, as things tend to, when hubris came into play, and we thought “why don’t we just keep going?” And so every minute, homer Simpson would chime in to remind us, and we just kept it going through the centennial (which is where I tapped out, personally) and then to the double power hour. There were six of us to make centennial, and three made double, and every single one of us would proceed to vomit and black out entirely. So dumb, but you’re in your early 20s, people living in a house with five other early 20s, so it was the time and place I guess.

        • Darrell_Winfield@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 months ago

          Yeah, we tried that one. I didn’t think anyone’s stomach volume is large enough for that amount. None of us could get past the 45 minute mark.

    • Localhorst86@feddit.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 months ago

      Pro Version of this game:

      Listen to “Hot dog” by Limp Bizkit and take a shot for every “fuck” you hear.

  • dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    2 months ago

    While driving, I was using google maps on android auto when I wanted to find the nearest charging station. So I used the search function in google maps. By tapping the microphone button. IN GOOGLE MAPS. Saying clearly: “Charging station”. TO GOOGLE MAPS.

    “Ok. Playing playlist ‘Charging station’ by [some random user] in spotify”

    … Nothing.

    Apparently my girlfriend, who was at home, was using Spotify at that time. So it changed the playlist for her.

    Technology is great.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 months ago

      I asked “is it going to rain tomorrow”

      Google’s response, “no it is not going to rain today it is going to be cloudy”

      “What about tomorrow?”

      “It is not going to rain this evening”

      Thanks for that. Really not worried about AI taking over the world by the way.

    • Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 months ago

      "Just so you know, auto read is still on. You can ask me at any time to turn it off…

      Dad says: Ok"

      3 minutes later

      "Just so you know, auto read is still on. You can ask me at any time to turn it off…

      Dad says: Did you hear about [thing]"

      Then they have the audacity to tell me auto read is OFF if I turn it off and get a text

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    2 months ago

    Been meaning to add a Google Home routine that turns EVERYTHING on at once.

    “Hey Google. House party protocol.”

    STUN

    Damn, that made me think of a use for my ceiling-mount strobe and “AHHOOGAH” horn. What shall I do tonight?

  • Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 months ago

    Joke’s on the robber. He’ll have to shoot me since I’m a neckbeard loser and don’t possess any valuables. Checkmate.

    • Jimbo@yiffit.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 months ago

      Easy, just grow a neckbeard thick enough to block the bullets

  • modifier@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 months ago

    Would no longer be a burglar at the point of holding someone up.

    Follow for more useless contributions to the meme.

  • blackn1ght@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 months ago

    On the plus side you can bleed out knowing they now have to spend all that time and effort trying to find your valuables.

  • Floshie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Plot twist:

    . Burglar: This… this was the song they played at my mum’s funeral last week

    . Me: do you want to talk about it ?

    . Burglar: Yeah… can we ?

  • beebarfbadger@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    That did not go according to plan at all!


    The plan:

    ME: “Haha sure thing dude-ALEXA CALL THE POLICE”

    ALEXA: “Calling the police”

    phone ringing

    ME: staring at burglar

    BURGLAR: staring at me

    phone ringing some more

    EMERGENCY OPERATOR: “Hello, this is 911, what is your emergency?”

    BURGLAR: staring at me

    ALEXA: “There is a robbery taking place at…”

    BURGLAR: looking at me

    ME: whistling

    EMERGENCY OPERATOR: “Alright, we’ll dispatch officers immediately. Stay safe”

    ALEXA: “Thank you” hangs up

    BURGLAR: going to fetch a chair

    ME: twiddling my thumbs

    BURGLAR: cleaning his gun for a solid four minutes

    ME: looking at my shoes for a good three more minutes

    sirens becoming audible in the distance

    BURGLAR: “Oh no!” runs away